What is a solution to avoid the shadows?

“Keep your face to the sunshine and you cannot see the shadow. It’s what sunflowers do.” – Helen Keller

Easier said than done, right?
But what about, what about, what about…?!

The thing is, if we choose to be optimistic about the future, then it helps to avoid the bad crap, and from allowing it to suck us in. I say the word “helps” because not everything in life comes easy to some people. But baby steps can help us to focus on our current life events, even if challenges arise, and we figure out a way to face those challenges head on. Somehow. Some way.

I am one of those people that when things are said, they stick with me. When actions are taken, they stick with me. And sure, it can be a great thing, but it is also a not-so-great thing sometimes. Yet, each turn in life, there is always some kind of explanation. Whether good or bad, and I guess it is considered a learning curve, right?

But then I find myself asking …

Is it a blessing? Or a lesson?

I mean, every experience and every issue handed to us is something we must grasp, and comprehend. But there’s always the question as to why? There’s always that anxious part of the mind that asks the same, repeated questions – “Why do particular things happen when they do?” and, “What in hell is it supposed to mean?!”

And then there’s the question (or maybe statement), when others are involved, whether it be with the people you know, or as a society, “Well, if they do it, why can’t I?”

I believe that this can be a very dangerous question.

Let me share one of my videos with you, kind of describing this kind of situation…

Now when it comes to my children, it’s a different story. And trust me, I’m not going to go and just jump off a bridge, intentionally! I did do the bungee jumping, the zip-lining, the jumping out of an airplane; yes BUT, that was to overcome my fears and to feel the adrenaline rush!

Source

But, wait. What about when it comes to people we love? Our family? People we call friends? What happens when something is said and all you can think about is that situation, at that time, and how it affected you. And even though it’s in the past and done, new circumstances appear and that moment in the past, comes back in your mind all over again. Then, that same fear creeps in. The doubt. The anxiety. And before you know it, your mind is all tangled, once again…

Here is the question of all questions – how can it affect you, even now, after it has all been said and done?! And wait, how DOES it affect you?! Here’s my theory:

Source

What happens is, that it affects your TODAY.

It affects current relationships.
It affects your mood.
It affects your mentality.
It affects your emotions.
It affects you physically.

Oh yeah, those ten extra pounds – how did they creep up so fast?! Oh, and people who think you’re “losing” it – when one minute you’re laughing and smiling, and then the next minute, you’re crying or frustrated…yep!

Hmmmm…maybe it’s that time of month again?!

And let’s not forget about spiritually as well, where you question yourself as to, “Is there really a God, or someone higher”?

But listen, it doesn’t mean you are going crazy nor does it mean you are crazy!! It just means that, you have your fears. It just means that some things in life, stick with you more than sometimes you would like them to. And it means that you hope the people who do understand you, will have the patience TO understand you!

Okay, so you get the point, or rather you get my point. And please remember, this is only my point of view. I am NO expert, by all means. I only speak from experience, and more so, my heart.

Basically, it feels like you are running so fast, like on a hamster wheel – spinning and spinning – until you lose control and then spin out of control!!

Source

So how do we gain control? How do we get back on that damn hamster wheel, and keep composed while still maintaining our daily lives?

Do we talk about these issues that keep coming up in our minds? Do we really, really, untangle our minds, and set it free? Or is it better just to stay quiet, and hope that eventually, the thoughts will go away? This would be when we could take a “shath” – my way of taking a shower and bath at the same time (something that totally helps me ease my mind!!). And no, “shath” is not an English word!!

Other ways to clear the mind is to meditate – take a walk, read a book, do some writing, listen to music … music is always so soothing … here is one of my favourite calming songs.

I know I’ve said this before, but I’m saying it again because saying it over and over helps keep the positive thoughts in the mind!

I believe a lot of this has to do with…
Self-image.
Self-love.
Self-acceptance.
Self-care.
Self-everything.

If you cannot accept who you are, or try to help yourself to overcome these fears and get help, it is going to be very hard for you to look towards the sunshine…You HAVE to love yourself, because deep down is the real you and you ARE special. You ARE important. You ARE unique in your own way. We all are. Failures and all. It doesn’t mean we stop. It doesn’t mean we doubt. It doesn’t mean we give up.

Instead of looking at all the wrongs in life, we have to look at all the rights. All the good things. The things that did, and do, bring happiness to us!!

Even though again, my vision seems like it is going downhill (in other words, more narrow) – I have my children to keep me busy. I have my Tik Tok videos to keep my mind thinking of new ideas to act silly – truth is, I only have to look at a small screen – it is well within my peripheral vision 😉. Meh, it makes me smile to do these things, and I am hopeful it can bring others joy in their tough times, not just this whole Coronavirus thing!!

Yes, I worry about the things I am experiencing now. I worry about why my mind gets all tangled up. But then I realize that, I am me. I am no one special, but me. I think things the way I do because that’s just me. At the end of the day, if someone doesn’t understand the way I think – I can’t do anything about it. I’m not crazy for thinking things the way I do. I’m not wrong, and maybe I’m not 100% completely right. But I have my reasons for those thoughts.

It doesn’t justify who I am. We all have our different battles, some more so than others…we just have to continue to be ourselves and push forward!!

I brought up my vision because there are a lot of things I “miss”. And when I say “miss”, I don’t mean in the way that, “Oh, I miss going on trips…”. I’ve been fortunate enough to have many experiences in my lifetime – with and without my children.

I mean in the way that I “visually” miss things. A lot of people today are so hung up on the fact that they are not able to “go out”. Well, I am one of those people that actually don’t see a difference, as I am sure there are a lot of those people – especially those dealing with mental health challenges or vision loss. As I’ve said it before and I say it again…we are all in this together. There are some people who don’t have the courage to step outside the doors even in their every day life, know what I mean? Some people due to illnesses can’t step out their doors. Life can be challenging in different ways for anyone and everyone!

The only change for me is that I have the children 24-7 which really isn’t a bad thing because there is noise in the house now. There is action. There is love and beauty, even when mom gets frustrated at times!

My every day situation of sending the kids to school and being home – it’s quiet. Sure, now the routine is out of whack in the sense of timing, but we manage. Is it perfect? NO!!! I will tell you this though – we are fortunate to have a roof over our head, clothing to wear, food to eat. And that, I am so thankful for!!

I never went out if I didn’t have to. I stayed home and I still stay home. Why? Because unfortunately, my lack of vision and the extremity of my anxiety (at times), keeps me put. But it’s OKAY. It’s not the end of the world! And I can’t cry about it…well wait, I can. I have. But, I keep telling myself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel! That it’s just a phase. And I do what I do to keep pushing forward, day by day. I hope those reading this, can find some resolution to help them to keep pushing forward, as hard as it may seem!

Here, to end this, I will post this piano piece – because I love the song, and it’s peaceful!! We are not alone in this world. We all have “something” and it doesn’t give anyone the right to judge another just because they seem “happy” and are “smiling”. You just never know what their story is. Offer kindness, gratitude. Even a virtual hug goes a long way!!

Peace and love to you all! ❤️

Remember to check out my site https://coil.com/u/theminduntangled for more of my writing and also my videos at https://www.cinnamon.video/theminduntangled!

Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…

Sandra Scala

Real or Fake?

Here, I want to share my most recent post on Coil, about friendships: Real or Fake?

I have not been here much on my main site because I have been posting daily on Coil – a web-monetized platform. I have met a great group of people blogging there – where we interact on Telegram, encouraging each other and motivating each other to get our content out.

In life, it is not about how many people you know or have in your life – it’s always a POSITIVE to surround yourself around the people who UPLIFT you and ENCOURAGE you to push forward to get where you want to be!!

Sandra Scala

It has been an amazing journey thus far, and I will continue posting regularly on Coil. If you would like to come and visit, please do! Click on this link to get connected to my blog – I hope to see you there!

Thank you for your continued support!

Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…

Sandra Scala

A beautiful path …

“Some beautiful paths can’t be discovered without getting lost.” – Erol Ozan

Life is a journey, and it is YOURS to discover!

Even on the most beautiful path, you can lose your way, but keep pushing yourself forward – you CAN find your way!

Sometimes, it may feel like the path never ends, but getting lost doesn’t mean you give up, right?!

A friend of mine thought this picture was of the Magnolia Lane – the path to Augusta National (which is apparently, a famous path).
However, this picture was taken in Savannah, Georgia (United States). My husband and I had taken a detour (on our way home from our honeymoon), and stopped to see our friends we had just met on a Cruise. They showed us around, and this place is the Wormsloe Historic Site. It is also seen in the movie “The General’s Daughter”. An absolutely beautiful spot!!

Photo Edited by: Srdan Vocanec

Life gets tough sometimes, throwing you in different directions. Don’t get discouraged, even through those times. There are many choices in life that come your way, you just have to stay focused and positive, and follow the right path. Remember – everything happens for a reason …

YOU decide what path you want to take – I say choose the beautiful one, and stay positive – you’ve got this! ❤️

Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…

Sandra Scala

Adjust. Accept. Trust. Love.

Today, I posted an article on Coil about these four key points in life.
Come and join me in the Coil/XRP Community for more inspiration!

Click on the link below…

Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…

Sandra Scala

https://coil.com/p/theminduntangled/Adjust-Accept-Trust-Love-/L_6tFK9Zz

CHOOSE the bright side…

“overcome your barriers.
overcome your dark side.
CHOOSE the bright side.”
– Sandra Scala

Ah, but “how do I do this?” you ask yourself…”Nobody understands.” “Nobody knows what I am going through”…”Nobody cares”… All these questions, so many fears…BUT – if you just believe in yourself, trust in yourself, love yourself, and allow yourself to heal – you will find happiness…

So many people are unaware of specific mental health issues. A lot of people think that everyone feels the same when it comes to anxiety or depression, or whatever it may be.

The fact is, everyone experiences things DIFFERENTLY. The way my hand clams up and my heart pounds, may be very different as to the person who can’t even breathe and feels like they are going to faint. Or the person who doesn’t want to get out of bed in the morning because they are just too. damn. tired., and feel as if they have nothing to live for. Or the person who is scared of facing death, either for themselves or a loved one, and becomes so anxious about it…

Here’s the thing – you DO have something to live for. There is a bright side at the end of the tunnel…there IS hope. There is that person who will listen to you and offer you their shoulder to cry on. There is that job that is waiting for you. There is that one person that you can help make them feel better about themselves, just by being there. There is the higher power that you can confide into, silently, if that is what you choose.

This picture here, about BPD (also known as Borderline Personality Disorder) is for those who don’t know what it entails….here is a list:
– anxiety, depression, fear
– explosive anger, self-harm
– extreme emotional swings
– chronic feelings of emptiness
– unstable relationships
– impulsive, self-destructive behaviours
– terrified of being abandoned or left alone

Why am I sharing this?
Because people need to be AWARE.
It’s not a joke. It’s not funny.
Mental Health is NOT a joke.

People need to be aware that these issues ARE real, and sometimes, instead of mocking people or telling them they have issues, you should show kindness and compassion, and just be there for them and try to understand perhaps, just a little bit, of where they are coming from.

Instead of being quick to judge towards that person who has security issues, the autistic child, the kid who stutters, or even the person in the wheelchair….whatever it is, THINK about your words first. THINK about your actions. Seriously, who are we to judge?!

Learn about mental health. Learn about whatever it may be you are going through. Learning is growing, and it helps to keep you healthy and motivated with TODAY.

Talk to someone. Find the courage to believe in yourself.
You’ve got this. You’ve had it all along…maybe it’s just lost. But you can find it again.

You can choose your bright side, and overcome your barriers and your dark side – one day at a time. And at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter what diagnosis you (or a loved one) gets told – whether you’re blind, deaf, depressed, bipolar, whatever it is – they are just words. You are better then words. You are STRONGER – you are a lion, a lioness, and like I said – you’ve got this! ❤️

Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…

Sandra Scala

Your Worth…

“If they don’t see you for your worth.
Then they’re not worth seeing you at all.”
– Sandra Scala

No – it doesn’t matter how many times you’ve tried explaining your point of view, and they just don’t get it. It doesn’t matter how hard you work at your job, and they just don’t get it.

It doesn’t matter how many times you scream inside your head, “why can they not just understand my point of view?” or “why can they not just understand that I AM the reason that…”.

Let me tell you something – there are going to be people in your life who will not understand your perception, or your hard work, period. They will not understand your worth towards that relationship. Or your worth to that job. Or your worth as a friend. And you know what? They don’t deserve an explanation from you, or your time. You have tried your best…

There are going to be people who take advantage of you, and there are going to be companies who will work you hard until you are just too darn overwhelmed to do anything about it anymore – because in your mind – you have shown your worth. You have given your dedication.

Think about it for a second – are they really worth your time? Your aggravation? Your stress? Are they really “seeing” you for who you are, and are they appreciating the fact that you are worth it? That you are the reason…..(whatever the reason may be).

I’ve been hurt (emotionally, mentally).
I’ve been used. Over and over.
And there comes a point when enough is enough.
There is only so much your body can handle.
So, what can YOU do?
The people who hurt you, who used you, who never saw your true worth….
let them go, and put it behind you.

It’s not about how many friends you have, or how many people you feel you need to prove that you are worthy.

You need to BE and FEEL worthy within yourself.

The people who truly do understand and “see” your worth, will stand by you, and will make you feel GOOD. Once you are happy within yourself, you can BE happy with your surroundings and the people who are IN your life.

Surround yourself around people who are true to you, even through your dark times. The ones who will take the time to understand your situation. The ones who put a smile on your face, make you laugh, make you cry (in a good way! 😉). The ones who appreciate you for the joys you bring in their lives, as they do yours. ❤️

Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…

Sandra Scala

YOU are YOU!

Here is some MOTIVATION for those who are struggling – be YOU, and as long as you are kind, compassionate, loving – that’s what counts!

This is a clip from my talk with One Woman, in Ottawa!
Special thanks to Grey Loft Studio!

The Mind, Untangled.

Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…

Sandra Scala

THE SKY IS THE LIMIT

I promised I would share my video, so here it is!!
13,500 feet up in the air, free fall for one minute at 200km, and wow, what a RUSH! Best time ever, and I would do it again!

Thanks Parachute GO Skydive for sponsoring me, and making it a memorable experience!!

Face your fears, and keep pushing forward!
Life is too short to miss out on new experiences!!

The Mind, Untangled. – Sandra Scala
Sponsored by Parachute GO Skydive

Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…

Sandra Scala

imagine …

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I’m not the only one…”
Imagine – John Lennon

I know for sure I am not the only dreamer in this world of ours, as time keeps moving forward, and changes rapidly occur.

But just imagine, if there was peace.

Imagine we could live in a world where there was no worry about what other people thought or said, or what type of clothes we wore, or what kind of house we lived in, etc. etc…

Imagine, if there was no hatred.
Imagine, if there was no poverty.
Imagine, if there was no starvation.
Imagine, if there was no mental health issues.
Imagine, if there was no judgement.
Imagine, if there was no criticism.
Imagine, if there was no violence.
Imagine, if we were all treated equally.

This world would be a pretty amazing place, wouldn’t it?!

All we can do is hope for a better world, but it doesn’t stop there. We can HELP contribute to making it a better place to be. Lend a helping hand. Don’t be judgemental. And, show kindness and compassion.

“You may say I’m a dreamer, but I”m not the only one…” ❤️

Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…

Sandra Scala