“Life becomes easier when you learn to accept an apology you never got.”
― Robert Brault
I hope this post helps clear the mind for those taking the time to read this, and have been (or are) in this situation.
What happens when we never did receive an apology from someone in our past? For words spoken or actions taken, whether towards ourselves or someone else?
Let me ask this – what is my worth to the people who have caused me sadness, anger, resentment, and/or disappointment? Do they not realize that their words and/or actions, have hurt me deeply?
Mentally, emotionally, and spiritually, my mind got tangled into what seemed like a terrifying spider web, in which I simply could not get out of. Overthinking. Over-analyzing. Have you ever felt this way? And what did you do to overcome this feeling and emotion?
I believe a lot depends on what and how words and/or actions are taken. Why is it so hard to acknowledge wrongful words and/or actions? If you were to flip a situation, the question becomes – “How would you feel?”
I am human, and I have feelings and emotions. I believe I am a good person, and I strive to be the best I can be, every day. My kids look up to me, and I show them that I am strong, yet at the same time, vulnerable. I show them that I am a mother doing the best she can.
Nobody deserves to be mistreated, and perhaps in my past, I’ve said some hurtful things. BUT, I’ve always apologized. I think we are ALL guilty of this, but the fact is, there’s the point of acknowledgement. There’s compassion. There’s empathy. Nobody deserves to be taken advantage of. And as much as it hurts, emotionally and mentally, we have got to try our damn hardest to apologize, forgive, and put it behind…keep it in the past, where it belongs.
I’ve tried to make my point, many times, and I’ve tried to explain why I felt hurt. I’ve had people apologize, and some, they just don’t care (or, they don’t get it). I give myself a pat on the back for at least trying and standing up for my beliefs. And I tell myself to stop there, because there’s no changing the way some people feel or think. If it’s going to be a black and white situation, my point isn’t even going to be taken into consideration. So why worry?!
Were my thoughts ever truly valued or taken seriously? I don’t think so. Why was there no respect to what I believed? I have no idea. So again, why worry? I am only causing more hurt and anger inside and the truth is, they don’t deserve my time or energy. Me, I need to stay focused on the positive, rather than the negative!!
At times, when my anxiety kicks in, I tell myself over and over – don’t obsess over it. Don’t let that spider web get more tangled in your mind. Create peace by letting it go. The thing is, I don’t need their approval, or compassion, or empathy, in order to move on with my life. What I do need, is to believe in myself and my morals. I need to respect and love myself for the choices I’ve made and continue to make. We all do!!!
I’ve said it before, and I say it again – we only got one shot at life! We need to surround ourselves with our true, loved ones. Cherish the moments we have with them, now.
There will definitely be people in this lifetime that will hurt us. But, we need to re-evaluate the situation, accept it, and look to our trusted friends and family for support along the way. Luckily today, I have the support I need!!
Let’s clear our mind – whether it’s going for a walk, talking to someone we trust, sing, dance, write, or pray to a higher level! Whatever makes you feel GOOD.
Let’s find time to heal within, take deep breaths, and keep pushing forward… ❤️
Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…Sandra Scala