An apology letter

I am writing this letter to our two pups we had to give to new homes, and also for my girls to truly understand how sorry I am …

Dear Molly and Nova,
That day in November, two years ago, we came to your home to see you, and we were only supposed to get one of yous. But no – we fell in love with pretty much your whole family…INSTANTLY!

I was lucky enough to convince Mark, “Oh, but just one for the kids! Pleeeaasseee!!!” But not only did we get one of you – we got both of you – two sisters for two sisters!! What was I thinking?!
But you were just so. darn. cute. …

Presa Canario crossed with Lab and Border-Collie
So we brought you home, after buying two full size cages.

Eventually, a big water tank for all three of yous (let’s not forget Mimi), dog leashes and collars, and a big bag of dog food!

Mimi - Flat-coat Retriever
However, as the days went by, it got harder and harder. You needed so much attention, and I knew you would. I guess I just wasn’t mentally prepared to handle five kids, two pups, and a dog.

So we found a home for you, Nova. A good friend of ours took you, and he has brought you up really well! And Molly, later, we found a home for you as well!
You see, you didn’t see me crying, trying to catch my breath. I was torn. I loved you. And the kids all loved you.

But I cried – at first, silently. And then, in the arms of my daughter, who also had tears streaming down her face. I felt horrible. I felt like a horrible mother not being able to handle all the stresses. Does that mean I’m weak? How could I not handle pups, I thought?

The girls adored you, they really did. They tried to help out as much as they could, but I became the main caregiver. I had to watch you during the day. I was the one going down twenty-three steps to take you to the bathroom every three hours. As much as they did what they could when they were home, I was still the one …
No Sleep.Lack of energy.
Everything was just rising to the boiling point.
I was losing my temper, my patience.I was losing myself.
And I didn’t want that.I mean, WHO DOES?!

I needed my girls to understand that I tried.I tried so hard. I didn’t want to get upset over all the little things. I wanted to enjoy life. I need to enjoy life and be available to my husband, and the kids!

But you, Molly, after having just you…You became so protective. And so strong.I couldn’t have you dragging the girls all over the place. I couldn’t risk the girls getting hurt. And I couldn’t risk you harming someone because you loved us so much. You know what I mean?

It was time, and all I can say is, again – I’m sorry.
Don’t ever think you weren’t loved or wanted in this household.You were my babies just like my family; but, I had to do what was right. You are both much happier now – Molly on a horse farm, and Nova with 500 acres. You are both in BETTER places.
AND – my children, my family – we are less hectic. It really was the better choice in this situation, and that’s the main thing, right?

Love you both, and miss you.See you when we canxoxo

To all of you readers – please know that it is okay to feel anxious and overwhelmed when raising pets. Just don’t let it get to the point where you don’t think you can make it another day.

Don’t let it consume you with sadness, anger, and guilt. It only ruins the person you are, deep down inside.

We shouldn’t have to feel guilty for giving up some things in life. Some things are not meant to be, and sometimes, are meant to let go…
You have to do what is right for you, and/or your family. I did.Life is too precious to be filled with mixed emotions of whether you are doing the right thing or not, always questioning yourself, and then feeling sadness or guilt.

Don’t get me wrong – pets are GREAT! MIMI is a blessing, but sometimes, having a little too much or too many of something, or maybe it’s the timing – it may not be the best thing or right time … it wasn’t for me at that time in my life.

To finish this off – do what makes you happy – in your heart. Now, at this point in my life, I am OKAY! I still have my ups and downs, but … we ALL do! We just have to look at the positive outcome of the situation.

If you have have been following my blog, you will know that we now have Mufasa, who is much easier, and it actually calms me down to watch him!
Everyone is HAPPY for our bearded dragon!

And here he is trying out his new Terrarium…

“Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…”

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