A mother’s love

I had originally wanted to share this on Mother’s Day, but you know what? Better late then never!! It is something I wrote a couple of years ago, before Mark and I got married.

It … starts … now …

I think of how fast time flies.

I think of me being a kid, and how my own mother raised me.It’s funny because I used to say, “I won’t do that with my kids” (referring to when I didn’t get to do the things I wanted to, or get things that I wanted!).

And now, today, I find myself raising my children, along with Mark’s 2 younger ones, the same way my mom raised me. That says something right there about the respect and love I have towards my mother, which she fully deserves!!
I always ask mom, jokingly, why she never gave me a parenting handbook?! As the seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks and years slide by…

Damn, there’s been ups and downs, like a roller coaster, BUT you know what? It’s a part of life, and I wouldn’t change any of it!
One day, a customer at the store came up to me and said, “You are doing a fantastic job. You are beautiful and strong to be raising all those children, especially with their challenges.” I’m not one to take compliments well – I get all beet red in the face and avoid eye contact…But, I was thinking, even if they didn’t have challenges, it wouldn’t change my love for them! Here was this woman, praising me! And to me, she was praising me for what I do on a daily basis, in which I do because I WANT to. I chose to have children, I chose to be with Mark. And I will love them and continue to love them for as long as I am here!!

A mom to three beautiful children, and four soon-to-be step-children. Three of which are on the spectrum, another with Tourette’s, and the “middle” child who is 12, going on 22!! I still don’t know how I juggle everyday life when we have all five in the same household, but I can say that having Mark by my side makes it easier!! We have our routine, and that’s a big thing in our household.

Julianna, Madison and Clarissa each have their own ways of saying good night to me, and goodbyes at school in the morning…Naomi gives me a bacho (kiss) every night and Justin hugs me, oh, about 20 times a day!! Each way for all five is unique. And special.
And of course, my relationship with Mark’s two older sons is fun and cool. I enjoy having conversation with both. Jacob, so smart when it comes to technology! Josh, so smart and well, it never fails that every time I see him, he just hugs me so tight that it overwhelms me!! I love it! I say it to Mark each time, because it’s just so amazing to have that feeling of love and comfort come from his children as well. And Taralyn, she’s smart and beautiful! An absolute perfect match for Josh! All these different traits from each of our children, are such a blessing to me!!

I guess I’m writing this, because as Mother’s Day approaches, my mind thinks in ten thousand different directions as I will wait for the girls to come home from their dad’s to spend the day with me (instead of a full weekend being away). I am so thankful and fortunate to have Mark. My children, Mark’s children, Mom and Dad, and my family.
Part of being a mom (to me) is about seeing our children happy, laughing, crying, upset … ALL of it! Mother’s Day is about celebrating the joys of being a mother, whether it brings happy times, sad times, and even grumpy times!!

One of the main things I think about is that as my vision worsens over time, I want to cherish these moments. I want my children to understand that seeing the different expressions on their faces, watching them grow, has been one of the best things I could ever ask for. I want my children to understand that even if I get frustrated because of something they did, I’m still their mom and I still love them. And as for Mark’s children, I love them for who they are, and for every moment I spend with each of them.

The “I love you” says it all. The hugs, the kisses. Says it all. Doing things with each other, says it all. Being a stay-at-home mom is what I try to do best, and as long as my children are happy (well, and those around me!), then I’m happy!!
There’s the quote from Maya Angelou:

I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

I truly believe this. I love this quote, and I will never forget the feeling of appreciation and love that my family (and close friends) give to me!! THANK YOU!!
To all the MOM’S out there, Happy Mother’s Day, EVERY DAY!!! And give yourself a pat on the back! You’re all beautiful!!! 😘❤️
I also wrote a poem for my mom, which is in a video that I did for her. I have made it for subscribers only:

And so that was two years ago!!! Not much has changed!!! Things have definitely gotten busier with teenagers and now, the social-distancing and home-schooling; BUT, I will take it one day at a time and just keep trying my best…as a mom!!

“Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…”

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