Do we remain silent?

WELL – This article has been sitting here for oh, a couple of months…I know, right? It’s been since September, and well, I have been contemplating on sharing this article because truth hurts, and as much as you replay the scenarios in your mind, as much as you try to make sense of it – sometimes, it still doesn’t make sense. So I figure, if I just let it go and share, maybe it will lift a bit of weight off my shoulders?

So, on September 17th, I conducted a poll through Twitter, with this:
“Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…! My next article on @Coilwill be to share my thoughts on whether the quote “Silence is better than unnecessary drama” is indeed, a wise choice, when in a relationship. What do you think?! Keep an eye out for the results in my article!”
And, here were the results:

True – 28.6%False – 28.6%Depends on the situation – 42.9%
These results are only based on 7 votes, but hey – that’s okay! I am still going to give my point of view about this topic, because truth is, it is a tricky question and can be seen in many different ways.
Let’s outline the quote here by the anonymous author:

Silence is better than unnecessary drama

It’s almost like I have to repeat that phrase to myself so that I can truly understand it. I mean, nobody wants drama, especially when in a relationship with someone you care for or deeply love. Yet at the same time, nobody wants to be left unheard. In that aspect – when it comes to something that is meaningful to us, do we not have the right to say something? If we do not speak our thoughts, then how do we keep pushing forward to better ourselves for the “next” time? If we keep our thoughts in and allow our minds to get all tangled, then how can we learn in order to avoid the unnecessary drama? How can we truly understand the situation, or ourselves, if the silence is not broken?
This song comes into my head when I think of this topic when it comes to relationships. Powerful in so many different aspects for so many different situations. Have a listen – it’s a beautiful song and the words are so meaningful…

I figure drama can be created when there are different opinions. Different morals.
Every person has a right to their own opinion, to their own feelings, and is it not reasonable to say that the unnecessary drama can truly be avoided even if we spoke out? But, even if we spoke out and there is drama, then isn’t it safe to say that maybe, just maybe, that will open the eyes of the other person to help them realize that maybe they were in the wrong? For whatever the situation was?

The problem with this, is that because we all feel that we are “right” because of the way we feel, we automatically assume that it’s okay to speak hurtful words. To say things that really, truly do hurt our feelings…
A friend of mine once told me – “maybe they’re not saying *that* to you because they don’t want to hurt your feelings”. My response to that was, “But why can’t they feel free to be open and honest with me? Why can’t they trust me to know that if they are open and honest about ‘situation’, then I would be more accepting of that ‘situation’? What is there to hide? What is the secret?”

These are all thoughts that go through my mind, as it gets tangled into a dark web. I questioned myself with different scenarios…my mind turning like crazy as I asked myself so many questions, belittling myself for things I didn’t even do wrong…
I truly believe that when in a relationship, the two people are best friends. They are your “person” – the ones who we confide in, the ones we pour our hearts tosharing all our fears and anxieties. Sharing our hopes and dreams. Yes, we have our friendships, even a best friend, but when in a relationship – I feel that the person who you are with, is the one you should be going to first about a situation or something that is on your mind…whether good or bad.
As I sit here and write this, I feel like sometimes I am contradicting myself, because is there really a right answer to this? I guess it really does depend on the situation…

Silence can be powerful; yet, people can take it the wrong way. Silence can be used for many different reasons, but I guess what I’m talking about here, is that when silence is used in response to a “situation” that truly means a lot to you, it allows us to collect our thoughts and reconsider words that may come out of our mouths in anger. It may not necessarily be the “silent treatment”.

And, it doesn’t always mean that you are angry at someone. It’s just that some people are quick to say what they think, without really thinking about what they say. And is it really important? Is it really necessary? Sometimes, when words are said in the heat of a moment, it can truly hurt someone – mentally and emotionally. Whether in a relationship or a friendship.
So what do we do?

If not already, I hope that you will consider subscribing to see my further points. As always, thank you for your continued support.Thank you to those who did take the time to answer my poll.

And on one last note – remember – you have a right to your opinions. Your thoughts. Your emotions. We all do. Whether we choose to speak or remain silent – think first about the other person and how your words and/or actions would affect them. It doesn’t matter what anybody else thinks, as long as it makes sense and is intended only for the better, in your situation. Kindness goes a long way, and whether it is a friendship or relationship, words always do matter. ❤️

And, if you haven’t already, more of my thoughts in my article here, “Silence“. Thank you for reading, and I look forward to any comments on Twitter!
“Let’s untangle our mind, and set it free…”

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